I recently attended a lovely brunch at a trendy restaurant in Sacramento with my neighbor’s epicurean club. (I felt so cosmopolitan.) A woman sitting across from me has 11-year-old fraternal twins who look almost identical. She said they are bonded at the hip and have very similar personalities.
Seated next to me was a 50+ woman who said she was an identical twin. She and her sister were highly competitive growing up and thus, didn’t like each other very much. Hated each other, actually. Today, she and her sister do a lot together as they are both divorcées looking for love.
She complained that whenever she and her sister are together in public, people (eligible men), can’t get past them being “twins.” And then there’s the competition thing. Being a twin was apparently a detriment to dating. Who would’ve thought?
I have been told by twins that there’s a “twin adage” — you marry me, you marry my twin. In researching my book, Twin Stories, I never once heard a complaint that being a twin hurt your chances in the dating world. Is this real? Should I include this question in my next book? Or could it have simply been the mimosas talking?
I will follow up with my identical twins and keep you posted.
All for now. Cheers
Sitting across the aisle from a young mother of two on a 1 1/2-hour flight today, watching her struggle to keep “Dilly” (short for Dylan) from screaming, I couldn’t help but remember my own personal flying nightmare – with twins.
The guys had just turned two and we were moving from Florida to California. My husband, father and five-year-old son drove across country with a rented moving truck, a car on a flatbed, and another vehicle. My mother and I flew.
I cheaped out and opted for “lap children.” To my fellow passengers that day, I plead temporary insanity.
The plane was delayed and stuck at the gate for more than an hour. They wouldn’t let anyone get off the plane, of course, and the flight attendants weren’t serving. The guys quickly consumed all of the juice packs (this was before 9-11 when you could bring liquids onto a plane) and most of the snacks. They were two. They were wiggle worms. They were bored and soon to be overly tired. Once the plane was given the green light for take-off, we still had a five-hour flight.
Perhaps nightmare is the wrong word. I don’t swear (publicly) so I’ll just use baby talk and say it was H-E-double toothpicks. Mothers of twins, you know what I’m saying.
Advice. Spend the money when flying with toddlers.
All for now. Cheers.
After 14 days in Hong Kong, more than 36 hours of flight time, and a New Year’s Eve they will never forget, our twins are back to reality. One son started college classes last week and the other starts on Monday. Jet lag has not been their friend.
It’s hard to imagine the culture shock they are experiencing after being immersed in the Hong Kong way of life. (If you want a college student’s impressions of HK, read our eldest son’s blog.)
The guys had a layover in Tokyo, then landed in San Francisco, hit the Bay Area traffic and finally arrived in Twain Harte, our sleepy little mountain community. The village is a block long. If you blink during a parade, you miss your kid.
Their lives have been forever changed by their adventures. My husband and I are betting money that they choose to do a study abroad program, like big bro.
As far as their bonding experience, they shared a hostel room and a bathroom. The walls were paper-thin and they heard a couple having a romantic romp next door more than once. (I hope those earplugs I packed were well-used.) I digress again.
They haven’t shared a bedroom in about six years. I hear they got along well and depended on each other as they traveled and explored.
Someone posted a photo on Facebook of them at a dinner. I didn’t know I had triplets! Let me know if you think this other guy is close. I think he is.
It’s back to dorm food and homework for my global trotting twins. I can’t wait to see where they go next. I just hope WE don’t have to pay for it.
All for now. Cheers.
I put our guys (twins) on an 11-hour flight to Narita Airport, Tokyo, the day after Christmas. They had a 90-minute layover and then it was off on another flight to Hong Kong to stay with their big brother for two weeks. Yes, I was one of those silly people who kept watching until they got into the TSA body scanner. I kept smiling and trying to catch their eyes. I waved far too many times.
The guys are in college now and almost 19. They’ve been to China with their grandparents. When they were 14, they took a cross-country, red-eye from Cali to Florida, with big brother, alone, with a stop at LAX. They played it cool at the airport yesterday, but I can read them like books. They were as anxious as I was.
I was so happy to receive an e-mail from the oldest twin (two minutes apart) who said they arrived. He included three exclamation points in his brief message. I finally stopped fretting that I should have booked a non-stop. You never stop being a mom.
Happy New Year. Cheers.
It’s hard to believe that the guys (our identical twins) are getting ready for finals at their respective colleges. They are attending state universities in Northern California and seem to be doing well in their academic and social environments.
While they say they don’t communicate often, it’s clear that the other is on the mind. One twin went as “twins” for Halloween. He has a beard and mustache. He shaved half of his face, and don’t you know, he looks like his identical twin brother! I thought it was brilliant. — After Halloween, he shaved everything and started regrowing the facial hair.
The guys will have a real bonding experience the day after Christmas as they travel to Hong Kong together to spend two weeks with their older brother. It’s a long trip. It’s good to have a friend, if only for battery back-up and snacks.
I’ve met a number of MOTs (Mothers of Twins) recently. It’s been fun talking to the moms whose twins have chosen different paths in life. I met one who has a daughter at home and one overseas. Like our sons, they, too, are celebrating their independence from being twins.
The holidays are upon us and I am looking forward to having an excuse to bake. I think our Hong Kong-based son could use some homemade Nestle’s chocolate chip cookies right about now. They will be hand-delivered by the guys.
All for now. Cheers.
I see the calendar but I think I am in a state of denial. In less than two weeks, the guys head to separate colleges. Thankfully, they are both in Northern California and within about a four-hour drive.
The summer has been a blur. They each were awarded numerous scholarships (well done, guys!) and had to do post-award thank you letters and paperwork. Registering for classes, arranging housing, freshmen orientation, two summer jobs each, girlfriends, and family activities were all a part of our lives. Big brother is heading to Hong Kong as a part of a study abroad program at San Francisco State so we had some global logistics to deal with.
It’s been a great summer.
Stayed tuned to learn how twin separation goes.
All for now. Cheers.
Eighteen years have flown by and our twins are turning 18 this Sunday. Time flies fast, parents. You are forewarned.
We are in the throes of applying for college scholarships. Talk abut paperwork. It’s very exciting and also fun to see how close their SAT scores and GPAs are. Even though they have been in separate classrooms since preschool, their grades have always been almost identical. Same DNA; same grades. Makes sense. We are very proud of them.
Advice to parents who will apply for scholarships. Take the time to type a standard scholarship application into your Word program. That way, you can customize the applications and also cut and paste information, such as name, address, phone, etc. Chances are they have been in the same sports, clubs, community service, etc.
Also, set up a scholarship “war room” where you have your applications, deadlines and supporting materials readily available.
All for now. Cheers.